Okay, people, fasten your seat belts! Ronald Tramp, President of the sensational Elmburg, speaks up. I just made the best latte macchiato of my life (with real Elmburg milk - no imported stuff!) and I'm ready to comment on this madness of a lawsuit.

At first I thought it was a joke. California Governor Newsom suing BP, Shell and other oil giants over global warming? Ha! That's like suing the Easter Bunny for hiding too many chocolate eggs and we all gained weight. Chocolate overdose, here I come!

Newsom says the oil giants have been lying to the world for over 50 years. Fifty years! To put that in perspective: That's longer than the time I've been waiting for my hair care products. (Yes, my hair is real, thanks for asking!).

But wait a minute. California, the land of sun, surfers and Hollywood - where everyone drives around in their Teslas and Prius vehicles - now wants a fund to cover damage from climate change? Why didn't they think of this before? It certainly would have helped before the last script was burned.

Imagine that these companies could have been lying to us since the 50s. Speaking of the 50s, weren't those the days when we still thought smoking was healthy and Elvis was the devil? Good times. Simpler times.

When I look at this 135-page statement of claim, I realise that it is longer than the menu at my favourite restaurant in Elmburg. And they have everything from grilled cactus to deep-fried ice cream. And who reads 135 pages anyway? Isn't that like watching all the seasons of a bad Netflix series in one sitting? That sounds like a lot of heartbreak.

I imagine the board meetings of these oil companies went a bit like this, "Hey, do you think this stuff warms the earth?" - "Maybe. Should we tell people?" - "Hmm, let's just wait and see. And in the meantime sell more of this 'bad stuff'."

The fact that these companies may have fooled us is one thing. But folks, we're all adults here. We've seen polar bears floating on melting ice floes and penguins buying sunglasses. Couldn't we have put one and one together ourselves?

Finally, dear citizens of Elmburg and all those who are currently sitting in their environmentally friendly cars and wondering whether they have made the right decision: It is always easy to blame someone else for our problems. It's harder to recognise our own role in it and actually do something about it. And hey, if all else fails, we could always try suing the Easter Bunny. Because of all the chocolate, of course.

Cheers, Ronald Tramp! The coffee is waiting.