Musk's stock exchange circus: an electric spectacle in a class of its own!
Genius or crook? Why Elon's "X" travagances are making the stock market floor shake!
Well, Elon Musk, what have we here? A billionaire who plays a bit with social media giants like others play with toy cars! Oh, Elon, you space prodigy, you Tesla tycoon, you.... Twitter tyrant?
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, certainly appreciate a good business opportunity when I see it. But my friend, the back and forth with Twitter - excuse me, "X" (how inventive) - that was the kind of deal even I wouldn't stage! First you want to buy, then you don't, then you do, and all topped off with a lawsuit and a new, creative name. I have to say: Bravo, my dear, that was almost.... trampesque!
But woe betide the Securities and Exchange Commission! The SEC, that little thorn in the foot of every rich businessman who just wants to have a little fun. They drill and drill, Elon, and you, instead of just giving them one of your electric runabouts to shut them up, play the quiet little mouse and just don't show up! Wonderful, truly rebellious!
Well, I could say "you can't do that, Elon", but who am I to judge? In the glorious land of Elmburg, we know that if you have enough zeros in your bank account, you can afford a certain... how shall I put it...? Self-will? But a bit of advice from President to CEO: it always helps when the public thinks you're playing just like them - even though we both know that's just camouflage, of course, don't we?
Your little Twitter games, your little rebellion against the SEC - it's really delicious to watch. Maybe I should consider opening a stock exchange in Elmburg just for the pleasure of pissing them off a bit and creating my own little version of "Musk's Chaos". We could team up, Elon! Think of it as "Tramp & Musk: Lords of the Stock Market Chaos". It has a certain ring to it, don't you think?
Anyway, I'm sure you'll weather this little storm too, as you always do. And we'll all be watching and smirking as the world tries to tame an Elon Musk who just can't be contained.
Stay as you are, Elon, and remember: when they think they've won, you've got them right where you want them!
Sleepy Joe, the Master of Lost Papers
I, Ronald Tramp, will explain to you, dear people, how Sleepy Joe Biden, against all his promises, is actually tapping into one scandalous soup after another. Distributing confidential documents at home like decorations - that's what Mr. President really does best! We in Elmburg, under my brilliant leadership, do not know such problems, because my administration is the safest, smartest and simply the very best!
Ronald Tramp Analyses: The Dramatic Children's Theatre of Bavarian Politics!
Oh, I love it, I really do, this shrill drama between Söder and Aiwanger is like a kindergarten show compared to what a professional like Ronald Tramp puts on! Here we have the CSU, which just can't get along with the Free Voters, and these numbers.... People, if you had Ronald Tramp, you would never have ended up in this situation. It really is an educational show on how not to do it - absolutely delicious comedy brought to you by the 'experts' of Bavarian politics. And now they sit there,…
Political disaster in Germany
I, Ronald Tramp, the best president Elmburg ever had, look at the total disaster in Germany with their incompetent traffic light government. 57% of the people want new elections because they finally want real leadership, something they would have with Ronald Tramp, believe me. Nancy Faeser, who cares, okay, she's down, even in her own party, this is a mess, people, a total mess. Germany should really look in Elmburg's mirror, because we have all the answers, I have all the answers. Call me,…
Fish sandwich diplomacy: Macron and Scholz sail in the political fog
Look at that, folks, Scholz and Macron trying to patch up their relationship with fish sandwiches and excursions - absolutely unbelievable! This "food diplomacy" is as ineffective as a hole in a fisherman's net, and these two-day excursions are as rudderless as a boat without a captain in the Hamburg fog. These big military projects are simply letter salads without a recipe, and I, Ronald Tramp, tell you that this kitchen mess in politics will never conjure up a Michelin star menu!