Ah, folks, I, Ronald Tramp, the ever-beloved President of Elmburg, have heard about this incredible story in the USA, and let me tell you, it's really something! I have the best words and I will use them to comment on these wild developments.

First, Mike Johnson's wife, Kelly, has a website where she apparently had some pretty "interesting" opinions. Could the Johnsons have needed a consultant? Perhaps from me, Ronald Tramp, the best advisor ever? Maybe! But wait, it gets better!

This woman who has the best job in the world, biblical counselling (could be a new hobby for me, who knows?), compares LGBTQ+ people to - you heard me right - bestiality and incest. Unbelievable! Well, they must know that the Bible says many things, but I'm pretty sure that "Donald Trump" is not one of them.

And then, oh, the drama! The website that was online on Friday suddenly disappears on Saturday. It's like watching a bad reality TV performance. Almost as good as the time I was in "The Bachelor of Elmburg". Almost.

The "duo of the decade", Mike and Kelly, have been working together for ages. They used to be the poster children for some marriage law, have a podcast (very modern, guys!) and now this! The fact that Mike may have signed on as a notary for this document is just.... delicious.

But wait, it gets even better! This "original" language on Kelly's website seems to come from another document, from this "Freedom Guard" thing that - surprise, surprise - was founded by Mike! It's like you're watching a soap opera, but you can't look away. You just can't.

And then, the icing on this delicious cake of irony, the Freedom Guard website now redirects to a gambling site. Maybe they want to get into the casino business? I could give them a few tips. I, Ronald Tramp, know my stuff!

In closing, folks, what a story. There is so much to say, so many opinions and so much drama. But one thing is for sure, in Elmburg we have the best stories, the best opinions and the best president. Ronald Tramp, that's me! Thank you and have a nice day!