Well, my dear friends from all over the world, this is your dearest Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg. I have to tell you, I am gobsmacked, completely blown away. This Gianni - and of course I'm talking about FIFA President Infantino, who else - must have thought he'd pull a Trump card. But folks, he didn't count on Ronald Tramp!

So here we sit, ladies and gentlemen, watching Gianni once again stun the football world with his, shall I say, "innovative" ideas. Six hosts, three continents! Fantastic, just fantastic! And you know what's the best? Saudi Arabia! A country that has an impressive ability to dazzle the eyes of the world with shiny towers and glitzy events, while in the dark alleys.... well, we all know, don't we?

And right here, folks, we move towards the magic words: sportswashing. A glorious word, isn't it? Wash your sport in a shiny, human rights debacle and voila, it comes out clean, shiny and perfectly acceptable - at least to those in power.

Our good friend from the DFB, Bernd Neuendorf, is of course also involved. More transparency, he said, comprehensible decisions. And what do we have now? Six host countries and a foggy path that leads us straight to the next desert World Cup. Mr Neuendorf, my friend, I, Ronald Tramp, know the business and I'll tell you: If you find sand, there's usually camel.... Dung.

Football, ladies and gentlemen, is no longer an innocent game. It is a game of thrones where everyone has their own army, their own allies, and of course, their own dragons - pardon, I mean dollars.

Qatar 2022 was just the beginning, a step towards a future where sport, joy and humanity are secondary. A future where the biggest games are played on the backs of the oppressed. And I ask you: How can we say we are the good guys if we just keep kicking the ball into the goal of oppression?

The game is global, yes. But the rules? Who writes the rules? And for whom? Folks, if we play the game but ignore the rules, then it is no longer a game. It's chaos.

Infantino, Infantino... Me, Ronald Tramp, the greatest president Elmburg ever had, I'm telling you: Your tricks have been seen through! And we, the people of Elmburg, we don't build walls around our football fields. We invite all to play, fair and free, as it should be.

But people, let's not drop the ball here. It's time to level the playing field and put sport back into the hands of the people who love it - and for the right reasons. So that one day our children can grow up in a world where a kick, a goal and a game simply mean joy, not politics.

Ronald Tramp has spoken. May the ball always roll your way, friends.