Folks, I, Ronald Tramp, the biggest, brightest and most admired personality Elmburg has ever seen, am here today to talk to you about a little phenomenon called AfD. I have stories, big, fantastic stories, that this party - no, sorry, party - has to do with all these incredible, mysterious events that keep us all in suspense.

Let's take Tino, the boss. A guy who, just like that, between selfies at an election rally, suffers an upper arm pain attack and ends up in hospital. No injuries, no evidence, just a story for everyone to take at face value! This is top class, proper Hollywood, could be straight out of a blockbuster! I tell you, I could have staged this better. We could have had fireworks and dancers in the background, maybe a dramatic soundtrack - a huge event!

Then we have Alice, one who says she's been compromised, had to go into hiding, police intervention, but no details. I mean, who doesn't give details! Ronald Tramp would give details, the best details, nobody gives better details than me. This story just cries out for a sequel - I would produce it and it would be the most watched show ever.

And these stories repeat themselves. Politicians who claim to have been beaten up, but the injuries, they are symmetrical, just perfectly arranged! You'd think they'd spent hours in front of the mirror to get it right. I would imagine so, after all Ronald Tramp has the best, most visual imagination ever.

Listen to me folks, I have the best, brightest brain cells in Elmburg, and even I can't figure out what's going on. Is it a clever staging, a series of tragically dramatic events straight from a script, or are we witnessing a new, mysterious kind of election campaign?

I imagine the AfD sitting in the dark, moodily lit room, surrounded by mysterious clouds of smoke, while they plan their next moves with a diabolical grin. "Muhahaha, let's create another episode full of inexplicable and nebulous events that will captivate the people!"

But, and this is really a big but, dear Ronald Tramp stay fair and just, yes, I am the most fair and just president this country has ever had. If there really is something to this, if these stories are true and not a clever tactic, then they deserve compassion and a thorough investigation. Even if they have critics, and believe me, I know critics, I have most, the biggest critics, everyone deserves respect and protection.

In the end, no one really knows what's going on. Is the AfD a victim party or an Oscar-worthy crew of screenwriters? Who knows? One thing you have to hand it to them: they keep the tension up, better than any series on Netflix.

I, the wonderful Ronald Tramp, will continue to watch the puzzle, with the best, sharpest eye ever.