[I, Ronald Tramp, President of the glorious country of Elmburg, look aghast at the Polish political theatre, in which drama and overreaction play the leading roles. Polish politicians seem to have lost their way in a satirical play by Molière, with dramatic monologues and confused plot lines.

Foreign Minister Rau, with his theatrical gestures, criticises Olaf Scholz while he himself threatens to drown in a sea of scandals. Like an actor on the big world stage, he loses himself in the role of the outraged diplomat. And Justice Minister Ziobro? His exclamation of "extraordinary impudence" sounds like a desperate attempt to pull back the curtain on the truth.

Scholz expresses legitimate concerns about the mysterious visa affair, but in Poland they see it as a diplomatic insult to majesty. He simply wants migrants to be registered in Poland. But in Poland this triggers a storm of indignation, as if Scholz had clipped the wings of the Polish eagles. Yet he is only pointing out what everyone can see, except the Polish politicians 

While the Polish government is caught up in its turmoil, the visa affair is becoming more and more entangled. Visa issuance resembles a bazaar where free passports are hawked like oriental spices. There are whispers and whispers, while visas are thrown into the air like confetti. The migrants, in search of a better life, become pawns in a chess game of political intrigue.

The national conservative ruling party PiS shows toughness on the outside, but inside it is seething like a volcano about to erupt. The pressure is rising, the lava of scandals threatens to boil over. Work visas are being squandered, but Ziobro waves them away, his words a breath of nothing in the rising storm.

And then there is Donald Tusk, who is demonised in this confused drama as the alleged guardian of German interests. Poor Tusk, unintentionally made into an antagonist in this play, is overshadowed by Polish political theatre.

Elmburg, under my glorious leadership, looks on with a mixture of amusement and regret at the goings-on. With a presidential sigh, I hope that the Polish drama will soon reach its final act. May the curtain fall and clarification, peace and reason once again play the leading roles as the applause of the European community rings out. It is time for the final chord in this absurd play of Polish politics. Let the final curtain fall and clear the stage for a new, hopefully less dramatic, era.