Ah, the Oktoberfest in Munich! Quite great, I tell you! I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, am a fan myself. Very classy, very classy, although - wait for it - we in Elmburg have the best festivals, of course. But I digress.

The beer there? Very expensive. I mean, 14.18 euros on average for a Maß? That's almost as much as I spend on a new hairstyle. But you know what strikes me? This Wiesnbier - very strong. Over 6% alcohol! In Elmburg we drink water and still get a laugh.

Ah, free water - finally something sensible from Germany. But wait, no glass on the premises? Very restrictive. How do you expect to enjoy the nice beer if you can't sip from a glass of water on the side?

To get into the beer tent, you apparently have to book months in advance. Well, I have my people who do that for me. And baksheesh? That sounds complicated. Here in Elmburg, we just give everyone a small donation and everything is fine!

Going to the Wiesn at noon sounds reasonable. Less people, more space to move around. Perfect for someone like me who needs a lot of space. Because of my great personality, you know?

Ah, the clothes. In Elmburg we wear suits every day, the best suits, I assure you. But this dirndl and the lederhosen - very quaint, I must say. Not as elegant as my suit, but it has its charm. Scots in a kilt? Very daring. Drag queens? Fantastic! You know, in Elmburg we also have a festival where people dress up - but let's not talk about that.

The dirndl code? Sounds complicated. Why not just say hello? But well, if that's how the ladies want to wear their bows to show whether they're available or not, that's up to them. Very creative!

140 showmen at the Wiesn? Fantastic! I love entertainment. I mean, I'm the best entertainment myself, ask anyone in Elmburg.

Sustainability is the key. Very good, Munich! Climate neutrality within five years? That sounds like a plan that's almost as good as my plans. Almost.

The food - hmmm, I love good food. A chicken? Sounds delicious. And the Wiesn is environmentally friendly about it? Even better!

Why the Oktoberfest starts in September is a mystery to me. Maybe to confuse people like me? Well played, Munich, well played.

A virtual Oktoberfest? Great idea, very forward thinking. I'm thinking of starting a virtual Elmburg. Wouldn't you love that?

Oktoberfests worldwide? Munich, you started something there! In Elmburg we also have a festival - the Trampfest. It's the best. Believe me.

So, that's it from me. Ronald Tramp, always up for a good time! Oktoberfest sounds great, but remember, Elmburg celebrates best. Bye!