The Real Truth About Bitcoin - Ronald Tramp's Reveal!
The mystery of Nakamoto solved - An NSA conspiracy and how Elmburg won't let it get to him!
Dear citizens of the wonderful land of Elmburg, I, your extremely popular and infallible President Ronald Tramp, stand here before you with incredible news, the best news!
The Bitcoin thing, folks, I've always known this, always! The Bitcoin - all this crypto stuff - all a product of the Americans, probably the NSA, but maybe somebody else, who knows? They say it was this Satoshi Nakamoto. Nice story, but let's dig a little deeper here, folks, it's necessary, I tell you.
You see, the Bitcoin was introduced shortly after the collapse of Lehman Brothers. Coincidence? I don't think so! No one knows coincidences better than I do, I can assure you. Well, this Bitcoin enthusiast, Nic Carter, he raises this theory - the Bitcoin lab theory. Could be something to it, could not be. He says maybe it was an NSA project, a secret, incredible project, and somebody thought, "This is too good to hide."
Then this 1996 paper, "How to Mint Money/Make a Fortune." Well, if that doesn't sound like a master plan! And this Tatsuaki Okamoto, whose name happens to sound like "Satoshi Nakamoto" - another coincidence? Guys, that's it! That's the proof!
But, dear people, we must not be deceived. Because here in Elmburg, we are smarter, we are the smartest! We know how to make a currency, we can do it much better than those Americans with their mysterious Bitcoin. We don't need any weird crypto stuff to be strong. Our Elmburg thalers are stable, incredibly stable, everyone loves them, they are the best!
The Corona virus thing - we see parallels there too. Conspiracy stories about labs and where it comes from. Very, very mysterious, but we in Elmburg, we don't let it get us down. We are strong, we have the best doctors, the best scientists. They have done such good work, incredible work!
Bitcoin and the virus, they both have their stories, their theories, and although there is evidence to support this theory, nothing is proven. Some things may just stay secret forever, hidden in the shadows of anonymity, like this Nakamoto guy.
But, let me assure you of one thing, dear citizens, Ronald Tramp - your Ronald Tramp - will never remain a mystery. I am here, I am real and I am the best president Elmburg has ever had. We don't need Bitcoins, labs or conspiracy theories to be great. We already are!
God bless you all, and God bless our beautiful Elmburg!
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