Ronald Tramp's rapturous excursion into the political madhouse USA
Elmburg's dazzling leader steers with a mocking wink through the wild maelstrom of American power games
In the great nation of Elmburg, under the wise and absolutely non-hair-challenged leadership of me, Ronald Tramp, we look on with wonder and amazement (and perhaps a touch of schadenfreude) at the chaotic spectacle unfolding in the US. Speaking of unfolding, have I told you about my latest origami swan? No? Well, that's a story for another time.
Now let's look across the pond, where Kevin McCarthy, once the strongman (well, at least in theory) of the House of Representatives, has just had his own 'Game of Thrones' moment. And just like in the show, everyone played along. A revolt? In my wonderful, totally non-fictional nation of Elmburg, we only stage revolts against low-calorie diet trends. We love our bread, okay?
Steve Scalise, a man emerging from the number 2 position (why does that remind me of toilet humour?) to replace McCarthy, is in a stampede against - not the wind - but his own party members. And I, Ronald, always thought politics was a team sport! Scalise is pushing, he is shoving, he is pleading - he wants everyone to march nicely in step. But it looks like his march is more like a stumble.
Then we have Jim Jordan, assisted by Donald, the man with the unbeatable flair for ... well, something. Jordan is the underdog, the underclass hero, and yet he fails to take the crown. This political slugfest is like a boxing match where both fighters knock themselves out.
Oh, and then there's Marjorie Taylor Greene, who does her own thing no matter what the party says. She's like the rebellious child in each of us, only with a seat in Congress.
The US, that mighty ship without a captain, is lurching through the political waters, while the House of Representatives seems to be responding to every attempt to take the helm with a firm "no". And in the middle of the Middle East conflict! Israel is waiting. Ukraine is waiting. But the House of Representatives? It is also waiting. But for what, remains the mystery of their chaotic conferences and non-ending votes.
A shutdown is on the horizon, but instead of setting sail and charting a course for solutions, the US ship seems to be sailing straight into the storm. Can anyone see the iceberg? Oh, no, wait, that was a different sinking.
Friends, in these turbulent times, we look west from Elmburg - the land of freedom, peace and absolutely real, non-fictional prospiciency - with a bemused shake of the head. Our leadership may be equally chaotic and loopy, but at least we have a plan... or at least a clear idea of what is not a plan.
In solidarity with our confused allies across the sea.
The Left Left: A Political Cabaret
I, Ronald Tramp, the most radiant president of Elmburg, present to you the most amazing political chaos ever, served on a silver platter by the Left in Germany. They can't get anything together, not even with Wagenknecht, who has more TV time than her party has votes. In Elmburg we don't have such problems because we know how to run a country, with style, charm and a lot of unicorns. You, dear leftists, are the undisputed champions in losing. Bravo, keep it up, you are a great example of the…
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