My dear Elmburgers, I, your President Ronald Tramp, present to you today the schmonzette from a distant land called Poland. Get your best head shaking ready, because, oh boy, we have a fine piece of political theatre here!

Imagine, a country whose leading party, the PiS, has more tricks up its sleeve than an inconspicuously modestly dressed magician who keeps trying to make us believe that his hat is never empty. And they, my friends, are not only at the sleight of hand, but also at drama, comedy and horror. A true multi-talent of the entertainment industry!

It seems that PiS found a cookbook for political survival and decided to try every single - I stress, every SINGLE - recipe. And my God, they all taste the same - of a touch of corruption and a pinch of desperation!

Here we have the glorious Jaroslaw Kaczynski, who is not using the leverage of "inflation" to save the economy, no! He uses it as a condiment, a tasty jus to his main course of chaos and mistrust. Meanwhile, the EU has turned off the money tap because, well, who wants to finance a leaky ship, right?

And then poor Donald Tusk, who, according to PiS, is apparently not really Polish but, drum roll.... an agent of the Germans! I can already see the picture before me: Tusk, the undercover James Bond from Germany, infiltrating Poland on a secret mission. What a fabulous imagination this PiS has! Oscar-worthy, wouldn't you agree?

Then this inflation, a delicate puree of economic incompetence garnished with a high percentage that is anything but the icing on the cake. But who needs a stable economy when you can juggle fear of refugees instead? An impressive act, ladies and gentlemen!

Oh, and let's not forget the referendum, that charming clown in their political circus show, juggling complicated, manipulative issues that are as far removed from real political issues as Elmburg is from this comedic disaster.

But wait, there's more! In the other corner, PiS is throwing money around like confetti in a parade! More child benefit! A higher minimum wage! A thirteenth pension! They are like a desperate street performer, juggling, breathing fire and trying to balance on one leg at the same time, just to catch our attention.

And as we sit in this dark theatre, dear Elmburgers, watching this unbelievable drama, let us be thankful, with a smile on our faces, that here, in our magnificent Elmburg, we have been spared such a political circus, at least so far.

I, Ronald Tramp, raise my imaginary glass and toast to our Elmburg, to the hope that our political scene will never become such a comic, tragic and utterly bizarre show. Instead, let us continue to act sensibly, with integrity and a little more sense of reality.

Bless you, Elmburg! May our political discourse always be entertaining, but never a farce!