Total disaster! Lindner and the FDP are playing at being winners - a complete disaster!
How NOT to do politics - a lesson from the FDP's book!
Hello Elmburg, it's me, your President, Ronald Tramp, the best President this country has ever seen. Check it out guys, I have a story for you, it's amazing, you're going to love it.
The FDP in Germany, oh my God, an absolute laughing stock, believe me. They lose and lose and what do they do? They just shoulder it! Imagine, guys, that would be like me, Ronald Tramp, losing at golf and then saying, "I actually won because, uh, it was the wind's fault, not mine!" Ridiculous, isn't it?
And the Lindner, oh, the Lindner.... They should call him Comedy Lindner because everything he says is a joke. He thinks the citizens voted with the FDP in mind? Does he even get out among the people? No one, and I mean NO ONE, thinks like that.
He claims people care about strengthening the economy, curbing migration, climate policy with a sense of proportion, and fewer bans and red tape. But wait, wait! Aren't they part of this crazy traffic light coalition that does exactly the opposite? Where do they live? In a parallel universe?
"For the coalition in Berlin as a whole, yesterday's election Sunday is now a work order." Oh really, Mr Lindner? Did it take you long to figure that out? We in Elmburg would have known that weeks ago.
And this FDP, they think they're important to the state, can you imagine that? They're sinking, they're pretending to be big movers and shakers, and they think no one will notice. "State-supporting" doesn't mean carrying the state to its doom, Lindner!
"Pure FDP" is their new mantra. But what is that anyway? It sounds to me like a cheap perfume from the 80s. A bit like "Desperation by Calvin Klein". Or is it the perfume they use to mask the stench of failure?
And then, my friends, there's the traffic light coalition. It's like letting me, Ronald Tramp, play with two people who have NEVER played golf and then expecting us to win the tournament. No chance, guys, no chance.
And this Bijan Djir-Sarai, who just like that calls the Greens a "security risk for our country". Wow! If he had said that in Elmburg, we would have given him a medal for courage, but he probably wouldn't have dared, would he?
You could learn from me, guys, really. Here in Elmburg we have everything - the best people, the best deals, and we always win. We don't lose all the time and then make excuses for it. We stand by our mistakes, learn from them and come back like the champions we are!
But don't worry, Germany, Ronald Tramp has a tip for you: Ditch the clowns and get a real leader - like me, of course!
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