Well, if that's not exciting news - Gerhard Schröder, the former Chancellor of Germany, is not welcome at the SPD federal party conference. Imagine that! A chancellor who is not allowed to attend his own party. It's like banning Donald Duck from Disneyland. And who am I, Ronald Tramp, the fictitious President of Elmburg, not to comment on this satirically?

So, we have this Schröder, a man who used to march through the corridors of power as if he were on the catwalk in Milan. Now, 60 years a member of the SPD - and what does he get? No invitation! It's like not being invited to your own birthday party. "Sorry, Gerhard, the party's already full - maybe next time!" It almost sounds as if the SPD needs a new party symbol: a closed door.

And then this Lars Klingbeil, the head of the SPD. He says they have "political differences" with Schröder. Political differences! That's such a nice way of saying: "We don't like you anymore, but we don't want to be rude." I mean, come on, a bit of drama in politics is always good for the show. It's like a soap opera - only without the good haircuts and with more suits.

Schröder's problem? He did not condemn the war in Ukraine clearly enough. In the world of politics, especially German politics, it's like being in a strict teacher's room: "You need to do your homework better, Gerhard!" And Schröder there, probably thinking he could skip this political homework. Wrong, Gerhard!

They say there are no second acts in politics, but look at Schröder - he's making his own film. Except nobody wants to see the film. It's like one of those films that comes straight out on DVD. And even then, nobody wants it on their shelf.

But wait a minute, maybe it's all an elaborate plan. Maybe it's his way of getting back into the limelight. You know, bad publicity is also publicity. Maybe Schröder is planning a comeback. He'll show the SPD that he's not so easy to get rid of. It would be like Rocky's comeback, only without the sports part and with more political drama.

But let's be honest: politics is about having friends. And if you don't have friends, what do you have? Right, no party invitations. And that's what it's really about, isn't it? Not about politics, not about ideals - no, it's about the invitations. The nice, shiny invitation that says: "You belong, Gerhard. You're still cool."

In conclusion, what can we learn from all this confusion? That politics is a tough business. It's a game of thrones, only without dragons and with more bureaucracy. And Gerhard? He's just dropped out of the game. But who knows, maybe he'll write a book about it. "My life without party invitations" - bestseller potential, I tell you!