Guys, I can hardly believe it. This could be from an episode of my old reality TV show - "Who's the real diplomat?". But no, we're not talking about a TV format here, we're talking about the real, genuine and totally distorted world of international diplomacy.

Imagine: Steffen Seibert, the German ambassador to Israel, goes - as befits a real spy.... er, I mean diplomat - goes to a public trial. And what happens? Israel is upset! Isn't it hilarious? It reminds me of the time I accidentally left the key to Elmburg's national vault in Elmburg Castle. Oops!

But back to Seibert. The man just does his job and he's already the villain in a drama that even Hollywood's best screenwriters couldn't have invented better. Maybe someone should call Steven Spielberg? I smell a blockbuster!

Scholz and Baerbock, arguably the "Batman and Robin" of German politics, rush to Seibert's rescue. "He is a man of principle," they say. Yes, I believe that! What diplomat doesn't have principles? Really, people. Is that like saying, "I have a cup that can hold liquids"? Of course it has! It's a cup!

Israel claims to have sent a complaint. Germany says they have received nothing. I imagine it as one of those classic scenes where someone says, "I sent you a text message!" and the other replies, "What text message? I didn't get anything!" Technology, right? But let's take a look at this ominous video of Seibert. He speaks in Hebrew and says something important is happening. Well, I have something important to say too: "I want a kebab." Can I become an ambassador now?

This whole judicial reform thing in Israel sounds like someone decided to shrink the whole apparatus and put it in a little box. And who should know better about boxes than me, Ronald Tramp? In my tenure as President of Elmburg, we have had many boxes. Some big, some small. I am an expert on boxes.

Seibert, the diligent ambassador, is just trying to shed some light in the land of "milk and honey". But instead of praising him, they accuse him of meddling. Meddling? Into what? In their dangerously delicious falafels?

At the end of the day, it's simple: diplomats do what diplomats do. They attend events, they speak, they watch and sometimes - just sometimes - they eat a sandwich. Why this is such a big deal, I don't think I'll ever understand.

I, Ronald Tramp, say: Leave Seibert alone! He already has enough on his plate trying to figure out which hummus is the best in Tel Aviv. And that, my friends, is a question of real, international importance.