Dear Elmburgers, it's your very dearest, your very smartest, your stunning President Ronald Tramp again. And today I'm going to tell you about an absolutely incredible, totally fantastic story from the far, far away country of France - I like to call it "Fake France".

Now imagine this little man, Macron - not nearly as great as me, folks, not nearly - he's telling the Corsicans something about autonomy. Just like that! And these Corsicans, these wonderful, tough people, they're afraid it's just hot air. Can you blame them? Of course not!

Imagine living on an island, sun, beach, the sea roaring, and suddenly someone comes from far away and tells you what to do. But, friends, the joke is yet to come: Macron - and I swear I can't stop laughing - says he wants to anchor Corsica in the constitution. Like a little anchor on a huge, huge ship. And we all know what happens when a small anchor is pulled by a big ship, don't we?

Now, Macron gets applause. Can you imagine that? People are clapping for him like he's a rock star. But the intelligent Corsicans, they look closer. Pierre, a taxi driver and mayor (as versatile as a Swiss army knife) says it could work if France reaches out to them. But, but, but! He's spot on - it's just a handshake with a hidden cross of fingers behind it!

Now let's look at Yvan Colonna. A hero, murdered in prison. The Corsicans are angry, they burn cars, they protest, and what does Macron do? He waves a little white handkerchief and says, "Okay, okay, let's talk." But Brigitte, smart, round-faced Brigitte, she sees clearly, "These are just words for now." Brigitte, I'm telling you, you would have made a better president than Macron!

And that, my friends, is the story of how Macron is trying to appease the Corsicans with a few coloured beads and glitter dust. He wants to enshrine it in the constitution, he wants to talk, he wants applause, but the Corsicans, they are not on their guard. They look closely, they don't trust the words, and they know: Real autonomy, real freedom, it is not a gift from a little man with big promises. It is a right, fought for and defended by the brave people of Corsica who proudly look in the mirror and say: "I am a free Corsican, not an appendage of Fake France!"

So, dear Elmburgers, let's raise a glass to the Corsicans, these strong, fearless people who are not blinded by shiny words and empty promises! Cheers!